To my sweet baby Amayah Grace I am sorry that I wasn't strong enough to choose your life. I live with the regret daily and I wish I could go back and choose no. I know that you are in heaven rejoicing and that makes my heart happy. I love you very much and I can't wait till we are together again.     

My beautiful Angel Baby,
You were so wanted by your Dad and I but, it just wasn't meant to be. We think of you so often, especially at the holidays. We can't wait to be reunited with you in Heaven. Till then, we know that you are in Jesus' arms and are very much loved by your grand-parents that are in Heaven.     

To my sweet Angel in Heaven,
Even though I don't know if you were a boy or girl, I will always remember you. You will never be forgotten by me or your little brother. Just please remember that I always wanted you and regret giving you up. I know you are in Heaven with Jesus and that we will be reunited one day. I can't wait to hold you and tell you that I love you so very much. I pray that you are with your sister/brother and grandparents. I am so anxious to meet you and tell you how much I love you.
God bless you my little Angel.        

My first grand baby,
It’s your Mimi. I never got to see your little face, hold you, or take you to the park. I never got the opportunity to give you the love of a grandmother, like my grandma did. The pregnancy was unexpected, and so was I when I was conceived, but you were not!

If I could have saved you from an abortion that was hidden from me, I would have. Please forgive the cruel world and laws that created a right to kill you, innocent in your mother’s womb. I’ve cried everyday since hearing of your death: I love you child. I’m sorry.
-Your Mimi    

I am sorry for not being courageous, not choosing to give you life, to know you and to hold you. I hope you forgive me. I love you - Your Mom

My dearest little baby boy. I'm so sorry I let you go. I didn't know I had rights. I didn't know that I could have made the decision to keep you. I wanted you. Please know that. I wanted you so much. I regret ever letting you go. I often think about you, and I wonder what you would have looked like. I wonder what color eyes you would have had, and what color your hair would have been. I knew you were a boy.. I could just tell. My heart is broken, because I never got the chance to see your smiling face. But I will when I get to heaven. I can't wait to hug you, my son. I know Jesus has you in the palm of His hand. Rest in His love, until we meet in paradise. I love you, my dear Michael. I love you so much.

Your mother        

Your father passed away before you. He was devastated your mother was ending your life before it began. We begged to be able to raise you, but she would not have it. Your life ended January of 1988. You are loved and never forgotten.      

We never held you, but we both loved you  

I’m responsible for paying for your termination by abortion. I deeply regret this. I wanted to marry your mother and support her and you. However, your mother’s parents didn’t want me as a son-in-law. They told your mother to inform me that the abortion would be paid by me. I was 18 years old and your mother was 17 years old. I’m always reminded of this when I see poor confused mothers going into the abortuary.

No one was there in 1974 to dissuade your mother from going in to have you destroyed. That’s why we stand outside these places and pray. We want people to know there are much better choices.  

Querida hija. Espero cada dia el momento en que te pueda abrazar.
Cambiaste mi vida y tu vida no ha sido en vano. Te amo y atesoro tu recuerdo con todo mi corazon. Dios ha traido paz a mi corazon, pero siempre te extranare, hasta el dia en que me encuentre con Dios y contigo. Mi preciosa princesa, mama te ama profundamente. Gracias por tu amor. Te amo muchisimo. Siempre. Tus hermanos saben de ti. Un dia estaremos todos juntos.   

"Emoni" means "Faith"... which is what I had in GOD... Faith that him keeping you as his angel was the right thing. Such a beautiful flower to compliment his growing garden you were. I miss you everyday baby girl. Mommy loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you always!    

Dearest James, I sit here today as I do everyday regretting my decision of terminating my pregnancy. You were God's gift sent to us to change all of our lives. I pray that you are safe with God and my grandparents and aunties. I pray that I am fortunate enough to meet you in the after life.

Please forgive me.

I love you,

mom xo  

"Amari" means Eternal, immortal; Goddess; To be loved; God said; Promised by God. You were our Blessing that we never got to meet, our Goddess, whom we will forever have a special place in our hearts. Sleep in Heaven Baby Girl!  

The names "Adom" and "Jeremiah" mean gift from God, which is exactly what you were... Although we never got to meet you. You were his gift that he decided was too precious to let go of. But we still love you and it'll remain that way until the end of time. Sleep in Heaven our little Angel. 

Not having you with us is our greatest regret and heartbreak in life! You are loved and missed by so many people! I will never let your fight for life be in vain my sweet child. Love forever, Mom and Dad  

I will always remember you both. I pray for you both. My first baby it was a shock that took you from me. My second baby, I'm so so sorry for not being strong for you and standing up for you. I was a coward. Not strong enough to be your voice. I have asked for forgiveness and God has. He is merciful! He is love. My babies you will always be in my heart. I love you both.    

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”- Psalm 34:18

Forever & always our angel son, brother, grandson.

Child of Tiffany and Rudy Paea Fifita

05-14-2021 - Eternity  

May you forgive mom and look down on her from heaven 

Your memory is honored by telling our story and speaking of the grief of missing you every day.

I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I did not trust in God and give you life. I'm sorry I chose an easy path that cost you your life. I acknowledge that you are human and what I did was murder. I humbly ask God for forgiveness and will never do this again. I thank God for his grace and mercy.    

Today is the day you died inside me 12 years ago. I am so very sorry. There are no words that can explain or describe how much I wish you were here. You were the baby your Dad and I wanted since we were 16 years old, but then life went by and we married other people, had kids, etc. We came back together 16 years ago, but he was and is still married, so having you seemed impossible at the time. Now, we look back and wish more than anything we had been strong enough and not fearful of the shame to keep you. I know you are in Heaven with your half-sister August who knew about you, and I know has you in her arms! I know my Mom was there to embrace you, and both of you there to greet my Dad when he got there. I wish you could have been the baby brother to your half-siblings, they would have adored you, please watch over Tanner, Kayden, Owen and Erin!
We love you sweet baby boy!
Mom and Dad